Collection: Absurdi-Tees
Wear your wit out loud with our

Brilliantly Stupid Merch

Boost your IQ with Organic Dopamine and Grade-A Malarkey. Sharpen your wits and your wardrobe with absurd T-Shirts, Hoodies, Mugs, and more.

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Three young people having fun while making faces and wearing t-shirts by The Witty Merchant

Quality Prints

Our jokes are delirious but our prints are serious. Colors stay sharp after washing — so you can easily wash this hogwash.

Premium Materials

Our jokes make you go "oof" but our materials make you go "oooo." We make balderdash cozy and breathable.

Family-Friendly Humor

Our jokes are off-the-wall but never off-color. It's innocent gobbledygook your grandma will respect.

Fan Favorites

Rational grown-ups from the Chocolate Factory to Milwaukee stop to marvel at these splendid absurdities.

Gastronaut product photo
Gastronaut Premium Unisex T-Shirt
29 USD

Nonsensical Merch For Every Moment

Ready to join the fun?

Roam the markets of the City of Baloney, home of our nonsense clothing and gifts — perfectly suited for the schoolery and foolery in all of us.

Shop NowYoung lady with a wry look wearing our Absurdity Level 11/10 shirt